the first entry - laying down some rules and also some aol messages.

this is just some writing that i did today and put in my aim profile. i put an away message telling people to leave comments so ill put the comments on here too.


so if we are all our own seperate machines and we indeed do have the power to do whatever we want why are so many people unhappy. rules are an object of man. so is pain and so is government. and its all twisted. drugs tear at my brain while warming my heart and friendships come and go as they fuckin please. so what is constant i ask. who is there for me no matter what. when all is said and done and the bridges are burning and corruption has reached the streets and the end of forever is not so far away, who will be at my side. i think noone.

Machines of desire. desire. so desire is defined as "A wish or longing". so humans are machines of a wish or longing. if i am a being who's purpose is to fufill a dream which is the reason im alive then i would atleast want to know what dream it is. right? but do i have a dream.. i suppose i might. ive had a great life and i want to keep having it until i grow old. i want to travel and eat foreign foods and love foreign women and meet foreign people. foreign.. what a word.

--continued - so theres a list of like 7 differnt defenitions for foreign but the two i like the most are

5. Not natural; alien
6. Not germane, irrelevant

what does the world irrelevant mean anyways. if something is so utterly meaningless then why would there be a word for it.

............as geehah and i sat in that bed and talked i started to tell him of my idea. that all humans are actually one and the same and just as each head of the multi-headed pythons of cartoons have individual personalities so do humans. like one of the monsters 3 heads is always angry and some random ass person is always angry. like we are all heads projecting from the earth who's gravity acts as a neck.


houli12: i like the questions you pose
houli12: i think most people at least wonder about all of those at some point
houli12: but a lot of them want to hear what they like, and if they don't initially like what they hear, then they exclude certain answers to those questions
houli12: we should talk sometime


ArMpItZiPpEr: i'll tell you what i think of your writing...it seems to me that you're pretty unhappy with the world outside of you...but it's interesting because there is a lot of content....ARE YOU GOING TO THE QOTSA AND NIN CONCERT??!?!??!?!?


tHeMaStaPyRo: tommy hugs you're crazy mang, but its all so true and i have thought things along those lines before


Luminaesthesia: Based on your info I'd recommend "Story of B", "Ishmael", and "My Ishmael", all by Daniel Quinn
Luminaesthesia: It's time for our revolution
Luminaesthesia: In the end they'll know we were right



so ive decided to start writing a lot because i used to be really good at writing but i havent written much lately. try not to take what i say too seriously because im actually a really happy person im just having a lot of thoughts lately that i need to write down.. sometimes i make stuff up also so not everything you read in here is true. im at a point where i really need to figure out what i want out of life before i move on to the next stage. -- more later